Awkward
by Niveously
Summary: Mikey wants to talk to Raph about something. And does that guy have some serious guns or what?


I don't think he had a clue, to be honest. It's not that obvious if one is careful. And oh I've been careful!

I made sure that no one could notice when I peeked at him over the kitchen table, and I don't think that anyone would suspect a few rides on his bike or a race down the sewer on our skateboards. I mean, that's what brothers usually do, right?

But I had to let it out sometime, I knew that. And now, it was becoming simply unbearable to hold it in. I wanted to hug him tight, bury my face in his neck and feel his strong arms around me - seriously, it's some huge guns he got there.

I've lost count of how many times I've been thinking of him lying there next to me in my bed, our shoulders touching or… Well, sometimes it went further than that, and it happened that a hand slipped down to make the fantasy a bit more real. And yes, it happened that I had to hurry and bite my pillow to keep his name from echoing in the lair. But hey, I don't blame myself. He's one good looking dude with a hot accent; what else can I ask for?

So, I walked down the corridor where we had our rooms, and stopped outside his door. I heard the weights from one of his weird training-machines, and didn't bother to knock before I entered the room.

He sent me a quick glance and sat up from his position when I walked in and sat down in his hammock. He threw a towel over his shoulder and grabbed a dumbbell instead, and then looked up at me.

- 'sup, Mikey?

I swung my legs back and forth and tried not to practically stare at his wide shoulders when he pumped the dumbbell up and down. God, did he have any idea about what he did to me!

- Not much, you?

I was happy with my answer, relieved that my voice didn't start to shake or anything, and Raph didn't seem to notice my awkwardness. Awesome.

He put his free hand over his upper arm and smiled, clearly approving the progress that was going on in his already muscled body.

- Tryin' ta give these babies a work-out.

I nodded and swallowed, hoping that he didn't see my now obvious staring.

He bluntly looked up at me again when I jumped down on the floor and started strolling around in his room. How the heck do I start this conversation!

- Actually, there's something I want to talk to you about.

He hummed as an answer, and I took place in front of him while searching for the right words. Maybe there aren't any "right words" for this kind of situation? Well, I couldn't find anything to say that didn't sound like it was taken from the Titanic-movie or something – yes, yes, I watched it. Once.

So I decided to just go for it.

- Uhm, I don't know if you've noticed or anything, but…

I tangled my fingers together. I could literally feel Raph's eyes now focusing on me, and I didn't dare to meet them. Staring at the floor, I continued.

- I… I kind of like you.

He chuckled and switched the dumbbell to his other hand.

- I like ya too, Mike.

I looked up at him and realized that he didn't get it. He didn't get the power of that word.

I cleared my throat and took a step closer to him.

- No, Raph… I like you. Like, like-like.

I groaned on the inside and kept my fingers fighting each other, just to have something to do with my hands. He had to get it now, right? He had to!

Finally, he looked up at me and slowly stopped pumping the dumbbell up and down.

He raised an eyebrow.

- Like-like? What, yur' in love with me or sumthin'?

I felt the blush coming creeping, and had to bite my cheeks just to keep myself from running away. No one ever told me that confessing was this awkward! I felt like a freaking open book!

I nodded and met his gaze.

- Uh-huh.

I bit my lower lip, scratched my arm and shifted from one foot to another.

He stared at me, eyes wide and mouth open, one eyebrow still raised. I could almost feel my last word floating around us in the air, and I swore that the tension would strike me dead any second!

And that's when he started laughing.

He dropped the dumbbell to the ground and put a hand to his forehead, shaking with guffaw. I laughed awkwardly, not knowing what to do, and suddenly felt very misplaced.

I licked my lips.

- Ya almost had me there!

He looked up at me and stood up, stretching his arms over his head, and my eyes flickered.

What did he mean?

- Good one there, Mikey.

He kept snickering while putting back the towel on one of the machines, and then turned towards the door.

- Good one.

He patted my shoulder, still chuckling, and then disappeared out in the lair.

And I felt that sour, pinching feeling in my throat.

He thought I was joking!

Before I could react any other way, I felt small tears streaming down my face. I clenched my fists and tried to take a deep breath, but ended up with a hiccup instead.

How could he think that I was pulling a prank!

I heard Don's voice yelling that 'dinner's ready', but didn't dare to answer. I knew that my voice would crack and, to be honest, so would I.

And so did my heart.

I laughed, but it didn't sound happy at all. More like a shaking breath.

- Yea… Good one, Mikey.

I hiccupped again and closed my eyes, trying to survive the moment.


End file.
